kim47: (suits; mike/harvey)
[personal profile] kim47
Title: Ex Fide Fiducia
Fandom: Suits (HELP)
Pairing: Harvey/Mike
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~3400

Summary: Spoilers for 2x01! When Harvey tells Mike to leave, home is the last place he feelings like going. Falling asleep on Harvey's sofa instead turns out to be another genius idea.

Based on the [ profile] suitsmeme prompt: when Harvey tells Mike to leave, he ends up going to Harvey's apartment rather than his own.

Notes: hahaha oh my god I've fallen so so hard for this show and this pairing. Thanks to [ profile] mskatej for the beta and flailing and all-around awesomeness ♥

ex fide fiducia means from faith comes confidence.

Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere.
We can't always understand them, but we have to trust in
them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes
it pays to 'just have a little faith.
Lauren Kate.


"Go home, now. Don't come back."


He moves instantly; for all that he’ll backchat Harvey to his grave, he knows when to obey without question.

Mike doesn't stop to talk to anyone, doesn't stop at all until he's in the elevator. Once he is, he's shaking. His skin feels weird and clammy and he kind of wants to throw up. The small space of the elevator isn't helping. The second the doors open, he bolts out, and he doesn't stop running until he's a good two blocks from the building.

Shit, shit, shit.

He collapses back against a wall, trying to get his breathing under control. It's been a hell of a few days, and just when he thought that maybe, maybe everything was going to be okay...


He remembers the look on Harvey's face when he said Mike wasn't getting fired on his watch, remembers the rush of relief that poured over him when he got Harvey's message. Everything's fine. I fixed it, now go fix my merger. He remembers biting his lip, trying not to grin, and thinking about how fucking awesome his boss is.

He knocks his head back against the wall.

However it may seem sometimes, he does trust Harvey. More than he's ever trusted anyone, in fact. And sure, he's given to little freakouts every time it seems like the rug is about to be snatched out from under him, but it's only because the thought of losing this job, this life that he never imagined he'd get to have terrifies him. He's seen Harvey perform enough miracles to believe that he can do anything, but this...

He closes his eyes and breathes through his nose.

Go home, Harvey said.

But Mike can't stand the idea of going back to his apartment, sitting and waiting for Harvey to call and tell him it's over, they've lost, he can't fix it this time, and with Hardman coming back, Mike is a liability the firm simply cannot afford. What he really wants is to call someone up and get blind drunk with them, but his life outside Pearson Hardman is painfully small. Trevor is the only person he can think to call.

Jesus, Trevor, and now he's pissed, and maybe he can't do anything to fix what's happening, but he sure as hell can make sure Trevor regrets ever setting foot inside Pearson Hardman.


Putting the fear of God into Trevor doesn't make him feel better. It makes him feel tired and dirty and alone in a way he hasn't since the night his parents died. Jesus, he's lost Jenny, already, now Trevor and god knows he's about to lose Harvey (and Rachel, and Donna, and god, even Louis, and isn't it fucking pathetic that he's a little bit sorry at the idea of never fighting with Louis again.) And it's that thought that feels like a punch to the solar plexus, and makes him turn his steps in a different direction from his apartment.


Donna had, in fact, given Mike a key, along with a stern look and a strict injunction to "use this only in case of emergency, and don't think I won't know if you use it for anything else."

He decides this counts.

Mike’s only been in here once before, less than a week ago. After he and Harvey had shaken down Matt Bailey, they’d come back here. Harvey had poured them both a glass of scotch, and they’d toasted each other’s brilliance and quoted movies at each other until three in the morning. He’d crashed on the couch, given how early they both needed to be in court the next day, and he’s kind of embarrassed to say it was one of the best nights of his life.

It feels different to be here alone - weird and empty and disconcerting. But it’s better than his own place, and it has this air of classiness and good taste that reeks of Harvey and is comforting in a strange sort of way. He kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie, then curls up on Harvey’s ridiculously comfortable couch.

He briefly considers putting a movie on, to distract him from the endless buzzing of his mind, but he’s not sure he could even turn Harvey’s enormous plasma screen on, let alone get a movie playing. He tugs his tie right off and drops it on the coffee table.

In the end he just sits on the sofa, the events of the day chasing each other around and around in his head, as he sinks further and further into the cushions.

Eventually, he falls asleep.

Christ, what a day.

Most of the time, Harvey likes nothing better than a dog fight. It’s what he lives for; playing the game, making sure you see the whole board, never let your enemy know you have them until it’s too late. Today, though. Today hit a little too close to home.

Harvey's always backed his own plays; he trusts his instincts, and he knows how people tick. He prides himself on his ability to read people, and his failure to read Hardman is going to niggle at his brain, it's going to poke and prod and irritate until he's reduced Hardman to a quivering mess on the floor. Which he has no doubt he’ll be able to do, he’s taken apart stronger, smarter, wilier men than Daniel Hardman.

Part of him can't believe, though, that he was willing to push this hard, to strain his relationship with Jessica - his mentor, his friend, the only person who thought he could be more than a minimum-wage fuck up - for Mike. The lengths he's willing to go to protect the kid unsettle him.

And it’s not just about protecting Mike. Yes, he’s an asset to the firm, for all that he’s not technically a lawyer, and yes he’s going to be brilliant one day and Harvey loves the idea of being the one who makes him that way. But the idea of going to work and not having Mike around, not having Mike quoting Star Trek at him and trying to fist bump him and absolutely refusing to kiss his ass... He really can’t stand to think about it.

Not to mention that he knows how much this job means to Mike. It’s his ticket out of a life he never wanted in the first place, it means he’s able to take care of his grandmother the way she took care of him. Harvey gets that.

Of course, it’s not like if Mike ever actually lost his job he’d be in danger of having his grandmother removed from her care home, or have to resort to dealing drugs again. Harvey wouldn’t let that happen. Mike doesn’t know that, though, and Harvey’s not sure he wants him to.

As soon as he’s inside his apartment he takes off his suit jacket, tossing it over the arm of the couch and heading for the kitchen. He doesn’t normally treat his clothes with such carelessness but he has bigger things on his mind at the moment. He opens the fridge and stares at it for a long moment.

He needs to be in the office early tomorrow, has to talk strategy with Jessica about dealing with Hardman and he really does just want to crawl into his obscenely comfortable bed. He needs to call Mike first, though, tell him to get to the office. He shudders a little for Mike, at the thought of the conversation he’s about to have with Jessica. Warning him probably won’t help; he’ll just freak out all the way there and be a wreck by the time he’s in Harvey’s office.

Harvey grabs a bottle of water and closes the fridge, pulling out his phone and hitting speed dial two. Two, for god’s sake, and if that doesn’t say how utterly screwed over he is, he’s not sure what does. Mike’s phone rings in his ear, then, in a weird, distorted echo, he hears a phone ring from the direction of the living room.

He follows the sound, and yes, there he is, spread out on Harvey’s couch and fast asleep. Mike’s totally oblivious to the phone ringing in his pocket - he must have passed out under the sheer force of his panic. Harvey feels a swell of affection that he doesn’t bother to tamp down, not here, in his own home, with no one to witness the fond grin on his face. Mike’s shoes and tie are off and he looks like he fell over mid-thought, face pressed into a cushion, mouth open, legs still hanging half-off the couch.

Mike looks even younger like this, which given that Harvey’s pretty sure he gets asked for ID every time he tries to buy a drink, is saying something.

This is the face that could bring down Pearson Hardman. He snorts. It’s beyond ridiculous. Mike Ross is surely the strangest, most confusing, best, most interesting thing that’s ever happened to Harvey’s life. And he once drank champagne out of the Stanley cup.

He kind of wants to let him sleep for a bit, but Jessica’s waiting and the longer she does, the more terrifying she’s going to be. He forgoes the dropping-water-on-his-face trick in favour of shaking his arm.

“Okay, nap time’s over, kid, time to play with the big boys.”

“Wha-” Mike opens his eyes and squints up at him. “Harvey?” Clearly not at his brightest when he’s just woken up.

“The one and only.”

Mike sits up and, Jesus Christ, he’s rubbing his eyes and making these little snuffling noises and this is the most adorable thing Harvey Specter has ever seen. And that’s the first time he’s ever used the word adorable, even in the privacy of his own brain. Harvey sits down next to him.

“You’ve gotta get your ass to the office,” he says, when it seems like Mike’s able to process words. Mike groans and buries his face in his hands.

“Oh god, is Jessica going to ream me out? Is she going to kill me? Will they ever find the body?” His vocal register is bordering on hysterical. Harvey lays a hand on his thigh and pats it.

“I promise to look after your grandmother.”

Mike punches him on the arm.

“It’s not funny, Harvey.” He scowls, but at least no longer seems like he’s about to hyperventilate. Progress.

“She’s not going to fire you.”

Mike’s head snaps up. “What?”

Harvey sighs and rolls his eyes.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” he intones, but it barely gets a twitch out of Mike. “I said you wouldn’t get fired on my watch, and you won’t.” He thinks about relaying the whole conversation between himself and Jessica to Mike, but something inside him squirms away from the idea of admitting to Mike that he was willing to quit and walk away from
everything he’s worked for because of him.

Sure, he knew he probably wouldn’t have to follow through, that Jessica needed him and he just had to make her see that, but there’s always that chance, that one bullet in the chamber, that one variable that you can’t quite predict.

In her position, he thinks he would have fired him anyway.

God, he needs a drink.

Mike’s frowning at him like he doesn’t quite believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“So if I’m not going to be fired...” he says slowly. “Why do I need to go to the office?”

“Jessica wants to see you.” It has the effect he thought it would, Mike’s eyes widen and he looks on the verge of panic again. This really can’t be good for his heart. Harvey rubs a comforting hand up and down Mike’s thigh. “It’ll be a hell of a conversation, and I’m not sure you’ll survive with your dignity intact, but once we’ve got Jessica Pearson on your side? We’ll be unstoppable.”

Harvey’s not as confident as he’s making himself sound; given the way Mike looks like he’s about to cry, he’s a little worried that Jessica will take one look at Mike’s face and fire him on the spot. But he can’t afford to let Mike see that.

“What - what do I tell her?” Mike asks desperately. He’s staring at Harvey, stupidly-blue eyes begging Harvey to tell him what to do, how to make sure he doesn’t screw this up.

“Everything,” Harvey says firmly. “You remember when we met? You’re going to blow her away with that ridiculous mind of yours, just like you did me. Okay?”

Mike looks anything but okay, but after a minute he nods. A moment later, he nods again, more confidently this time.

“Good boy.”

Mike smiles and ducks his head. He doesn’t look as shell-shocked as when Harvey told him he was proud of him (and shit, is the kid that desperate for his approval that he needs to go lie down for five minutes when Harvey compliments his work?) but he definitely looks pleased, and in the soft light flooding the living room from the kitchen, it looks a little like he’s blushing.

Harvey’s suddenly aware of his hand stroking Mike’s leg. Huh. That’s probably not entirely appropriate boss-employee behaviour.

They sit in silence for a minute; Harvey thinks Mike is probably steeling himself for the task ahead, sorting and cataloguing all the tricks Harvey’s taught him to complement his perfect memory, wondering how best to impress Jessica. Harvey wants to ask him to come back here when he’s done, to let Harvey make him a drink and calm him down and re-convince him everything’s going to be okay.

“I should - ” Mike starts, and Harvey nods, removing his hand from Mike’s leg. It’s more of an effort than he would have liked.

“Go get her.”

Mike doesn’t move. Clearly Harvey has more work to do.

“Mike, I gotta say, much as I’m enjoying this, Jessica is not a patient woman. And right now? She’s pretty pissed. I wouldn’t keep her waiting if I were you.”

“Right, yes, of course,” Mike says, reaching for his tie on the coffee table and shifting to the edge of his seat like he’s about to stand. At the last moment, he hesitates and turns back to Harvey.

“Harvey?” he asks, voice tentative. “How is it possible that I’m not fired?”

“I told you earlier I’d fixed it, and I did,” Harvey says.

It won’t work, not if Mike’s a fraction as smart as Harvey knows he is.

“I don’t know how you convinced Jessica before, but whatever you did, Hardman screwed it up by coming clean. Then you told me to go home, and I thought for sure that - ”

“Mike, not now, okay? We can talk about this later.”

But Mike’s got that stubborn look on his face, the one that makes Harvey both remember and question why he hired Mike in the first place.

“I don’t want to get blindsided in this meeting, okay? I just...please tell me? How bad could it be?”

Harvey snorts. “I’m already breaking the law for you, Mike, I’d imagine it could be pretty bad.”

Mike begins to look alarmed, like he’s afraid Harvey actually threatened to kill someone or something.

“Jesus, Mike, breathe.” Apparently there’s no getting out of it. “I just told Jessica that if she fired you, she’d have to fire me, too. She needs me to line up for her against Hardman, so I knew she never would.” He says it casually, smirking a little, no big deal, just another victory for Harvey Specter.

Mike doesn’t buy it for a minute.

“You threatened to quit?”

“Well, technically, I threatened to make her fire me.”

“Harvey, that’s - ”

“I did what I had to do. I told you to trust me, Mike, and one of these days maybe you finally will.”

Mike’s eyes are astonished, disbelieving, he’s looking at Harvey like he’s the second-coming, a messiah dressed in white, and fuck, Harvey wants to pull him in and kiss the expression right off his face.

Mike takes care of that for him; he leans in and kisses Harvey, frantically, dropping his tie and climbing into Harvey’s lap, kissing him like a man going to his execution. In between kisses he keeps mumbling god, Harvey, I can’t believe, I do trust you, of course I do. Harvey suspects that if Mike weren’t so strung-out from the past few days, he’d be a little more freaked out about having just kissed his boss, about the way he’s rocking in Harvey’s lap like he wants Harvey to pick him up and take him to bed about five minutes ago.

He kisses back, of course he does, sliding his tongue along Mike’s and settling his hands on his hips, slowing their motion until they still. He slows the kisses, too, from Mike’s frantic pace, drawing Mike’s bottom lip between his and sucking on it, which makes Mike whimper, then smile and retaliate.

At any other time, Harvey would absolutely not be opposed to doing what Mike wants and carrying him into his bedroom and spreading him out on his silk sheets, but right now, Jessica really is waiting.

As it is, he draws back until he and Mike are just barely nipping at each other’s lips, foreheads pressed together. They breathe together for a moment, then Mike pulls back. His hair is mussed where he was sleeping on hit, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips are slick with Harvey’s saliva and it takes all Harvey’s self control to not pull him back in.

But Mike’s eyes are starting to widen as the implication of what he’s just done starts to sink in, and it really is time for Harvey to put his foot down.

“Okay, here’s what you’re going to do,” and Mike is nodding already. “Put your tie on, put your shoes on. Get a cab to the office, pretend to be confident, wow Jessica. Don’t cry afterwards until she’s out of sight.”

That does get a smile out of him, but no comment. He’s still sitting in Harvey’s lap, his hands resting on Harvey’s shoulders, and Harvey pushes at him gently until he stands.

He follows Mike to the door, waiting as he straightens his clothes and puts on his shoes. This wasn’t at all how he’d planned for the evening to go, but in a day of surprises, it’s nice to have a good one to finish off. Mike turns at the door, looking at Harvey like he wants to say something but he’s not sure how to phrase it. His tie, of course, is crooked.

Harvey steps in and tugs at it to straighten it. It’s no use of course, so he undoes it and re-ties it swiftly. Mike watches him silently the entire time, but he’s smiling a little and he doesn’t look nearly so freaked out as he did five minutes ago. Good.

“Harvey, thank you,” he says when Harvey steps back, the words simple and so heartfelt it aches a little to hear them. Harvey waves a hand dismissively.

“Can’t go to a meeting with Jessica with a crooked tie,” he says.

Mike shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

Mike reaches out and curls a hand in Harvey’s shirt, leaning in and kissing him softly, before turning to leave. Harvey can tell he’s making an effort keep his shoulders square and his stride confident, and he feels a little swell of pride.

Mike’s five feet down the corridor when Harvey calls out to him.

“Hey Mike?”

Mike turns, looking confused.

“Come back here when you’re done?” Shit, he meant it to sound like an order, but it comes out too soft and hopeful, but it’s worth it when Mike smiles, all the way to his eyes this time, and nods.

“I will.”
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October 2012

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